I always thought I would be able to be a compassionate service provider-- and then I actually showed up to work/play.  Sometimes you have to laugh just to keep from crying- or hitting someone.

Actual complaints of patients that want to be seen in the ED today:

"I've had seven bowls of cereal today and I'm still hungry"

"No there is nothing wrong with me.  I just want to make sure that I'm okay before I go on vacation (for three days)."

"I was licked by my cat, and I think I need a tetnus shot."

"My left leg is going to fall off!" (Small fishhook superficially attached to the leg, fell out on it's own.)

"I think I'm drunk"

"My right pinky hurts, and I've been known to go into cardiac arrest because of the pain (in my little finger)"